on regular basis.

let's make some babies today.

2012-02-18T10:42:00.001+08:00

first day of lab:

yesterday, i made foods and drinks for my previous babies. well, my babies need to be fed, mind you. pseudomonas, delbrueckii and cerivesaei. mommy is going love and take care of you. cepat lah membesar! (perasaan excited ibu muda baru dapat baby)

thank you Radzi, for willingly to make babies with me. you're certainly a great fairy god father for them :D

autoclave and flushing.

2012-02-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

this week task: study physical, chemical and biological characteristics of bacteria.

let's make some babies tomorrow, shall we?

the Death Star.

2012-02-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

Too old for Star Wars, no i'm not.

NEVER.

would you like to be my own "Valentine"?

2012-02-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

#DearFutureHusband,

tidak aku meminta lebih. cukuplah sekadar kau menyayangi aku seperti mana kau menyayangi diri sendiri dan keluarga, menerima aku seadaanya dan paling penting, bertangungjawab. serba serbi dalam hal duniawi dan ukhrawi. kini aku cuba mempersiapkan diriku agar bila aku bertemu kau kelak, kau rasa aku layak untuk menjadi ibu kepada bakal anak-anakmu dan isteri mithali.

this is how i spent my Vday today. with ze girls. <3

p/s: the thought that counts. thanks for all wishes today, boys and girls.

so i thought i did unleashed the chain.

2012-02-13T10:13:00.001+08:00

hati masih belum cukup suci, barangkali. memaafkan, melupakan sukar aku katakan. masih menghantui aku, siang dan malam. sesal? ya, aku sesal. bukan sesal kerana kau hadir, sesal kerana aku bodoh mempercayai. tapi benda dah berlaku. anggap sahaja itu sebagai pengajaran. pergi, pergi dan jangan kembali, langsung. dalam apa cara sekali pun. bawalah semua sekali bersama kau. termasuk kisah lepas. jangan tinggalkan, sedikit pun aku tidak mahu.

verdict, intervention. i had enough.

the betrayal, the worst one.

"who are you to preach me?"

2012-02-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

don't look to the person who give you advices, look at the advices and take them as lessons.

you have your own right

2012-02-10T12:50:00.001+08:00

to voice it out. neither right nor wrong.

yes, it is true "there are tonnes of fishes in the sea" or "kumbang bukan seekor, bunga bukan sekuntum". tell me about it. cliché but true innit? but the thing is why i should put myself into some kind of positions if i'm not ready yet? not that i'm afraid. it takes time. and after what happen, i have my own right to stay cautious.

i just don't think that i need to cheat myself. everything can wait, as for now i got things to be done. things for myself. and seriously, i'm kinda enjoying every bits of it. no doubt, it is a great feeling to have someone in your life that you loved and cared for and turned into at the end of the day. who doesn't? try to look at different angle, if you're not happy with yourself, how should you make others happy. (define : happy)

God. i have Him and He never fails me. every single time. the one that i turned into at the end of the day, the one that i should please, the one that i should be happy with. this feeling is indescribable. bliss, perhaps. "ganjaran besar bagi orang yang bersabar." i hold on into that and keeps me going.

as for now, i don't feel like to talk about it. that's all. i hope you'll understand. (read: plural)

#dearfuturehusband,
bimbinglah saya hingga ke pintu jannah.

tak guna, jika

2012-02-06T13:56:00.001+08:00

bercinta bagai nak rak, tapi kalau dah tertulis bukan itu jodoh kau. tetap bukan jodoh kau. bersederhana, itu kuncinya.

#dearfuturehusband,

save for the last.

friendzoned part two : future lawyer to be.

2012-02-05T00:45:00.001+08:00

enjoying the presence of each other. admiring those similarities and embracing the imperfections. i like the thought of you. we had a great run together for a short period, i got to admit that.

too bad, it ends here.

the ex came along and i don't want to be the third wheel.

Au revoir, Monsieur.

all came in blunder.

2012-02-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

Sorted things out and yeah, January ends well. That's good, innit?

Sat at the corner, alone. Occupied myself with good book; Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk. To tell you the truth, i wasn't paying any of my attention to the words. Couple of subjects came across in my mind and somehow, wandering around with questions. Soalan yang tidak akan menemui jawapan, aku fikir. Alas, i'm not that interested to find the answers anyway.

One thing for sure, i miss one thing. Good conversations with good companions. That's all.

P/s: Last week, i made some small talks with Pak Cik who sell Nasi Lemak at the downstairs (small talks sounds so wrong, somehow. wtv) Well, all i can say it was kinda refreshing. Enlightened me a bit, i must to admit. I gave him credits for that. We did talked about the daily norm, families and yeah, Nasi Lemak of course. Fcuk, cut all these craps. Bye.

Chemex Engineering.

2012-01-29T16:12:00.000+08:00

biar nama tak gah. tapi menang di hati panel.

mendebarkan, sungguh aku katakan. menunggu hari semalam mendatang bagai menunggu anak kelahiran pertama keluar ke dunia. aku sudah beberapa kali muntah akibat terlalu cemas. sindrom viva kerap kali muncul. tidur tak lena, makan tak lalu, fikiran melayang, siang dan malam hanya itu difikirkan. sudah terjatuh cinta barangkali dengan project design sendiri.

berkampung di fakulti 24/7, masalah di antara project team members, project proposal ditolak oleh supervisor. itu semua tiada perlu aku ungkitkan lagi. kerana segala usaha, titik peluh kami telah terbayar. segala kemarahan dan ketidak puas hatian juga telah dilupakan. semalam, kami buat yang terbaik dan bertawakal. perasaan mahu merangkul title best presentation group itu ada tetapi sedikit goyah apabila ketika viva sedang dijalankan pelbagai soalan killer bertubi-tubi diajukan.

Alhamdulillah, kumpulan kami aka Chemex Engineering diumumkan sebagai kumpulan terbaik katogori Malonic Acid. terima kasih kepada internal dan external supervisors, Dr Junaidah Jai dan Encik Fizol. tanpa tunjuk ajar kalian, tidaklah kami berjaya merangkul title tersebut. terima kasih untuk semua yang memberi sokongan dan pertolongan kepada kami sepanjang project ini dijalankan.

antara detik-detik pada hari kejadian. viva design project 1. 28 Jan 2012.

p/s: sedikit terharu kerana kau bangun seawal itu untuk ucapkan "good luck" sebelum aku melangkah ke fakulti.

the small "auch" scream.

2012-01-23T15:30:00.000+08:00

while stripped the wax strip on my upper lips.
perfectly fine reddish skin.

proceed to waxing my leg,
ironing the purple baju kurung moden,
pluck my eye brow,
put my make up on,
and blow dry my hair.

perfect image of a girl.
with a boy who trapped in her body.
james, his name.

#DearFutureHusband,
how are you today? i hope i did cross your mind today, wondering who i am.

#DearFutureHusband,

2012-01-22T17:14:00.001+08:00

Times Square, NYC

i'd love to snap one or two pictures with you, here.

walking along the street while holding hands.

if we are lucky enough, we might stand and join the flash mob too.
put those pictures in our travel album.
admiring those sweets, grand memories.

someday, we will.

never ending issue.

2012-01-22T16:53:00.001+08:00

toilet seat.

toilet is one of the most ergonomic invention ever. two option: squat and sit. and i just don't get it why some of the people must step on the toilet seat, still?

people who step on the toilet seat are the most selfish bastard in this planet. 1. you step on it. 2. you don't even care to wash/clean the seat back. people like this, should be banned for using the public toilet. and as far as i concern, Malaysians lack of civic awareness regarding to sustain the public properties. (chop, i don't even think the word sustain is suitable to use here but yeah, whateva)

this will be never ending issue for me as i always need to clean it up before using it. this is so intolerable and absurd.

i'm not sorry for whining about this. hygiene matter portrays your really own personality. think about it.

dan luruhlah dinding uterusku.

2012-01-18T19:58:00.001+08:00

hari kedua.

somehow, i'm taking a leap of faith.
but yeah, i'll stick to this one. forever doesn't exist.
"always" will.

.

go environment, go green.

2012-01-15T08:44:00.000+08:00

everything starts with you.

small gestures are baby steps to the bigger picture.

well, you can make the difference.

enigma kelam.

2012-01-13T16:27:00.000+08:00

menghitung hari luruhnya dinding uterus.
menjalani sisa-sisa semester tujuh.
semangat yang hampir malap.
berbekalkan senyuman sinis and ideologi rebellious.

menyangka diri ini angkawasan.
yang berlegar-legar ruang globalisasi, penuh agenda mesteri.

ingin mendaratkan diri di planet engkau.
namun, aku hilang arahnya.
mungkin belum tiba masanya.
sabar, itu kuncinya.

patah tumbuh, hilang berganti.

2012-01-12T17:18:00.000+08:00

terima kasih kerana mengingatkan aku akan ungkapan ini.

aku dah agak dah. semua ini hanya mainan perasaan abnormal yang akan datang menyergah aku setiap hujung bulan. aku tidak mahu menganggap ini sebagai alasan usang, namun aku akur, memang ini penyebab aku gusar akan perkara yang aku anggap enteng, remeh pada dasarnya.

tuntutan dunia, aku selesaikan satu per satu. penilaian moral dan fizikal, sedikit suntikan rohani untuk bekalan ukhrawi kelak. semua itu, membuatkan aku rasa semakin utuh dengan kepercayaan terhadap diri sendiri dan yang di atas sana.

#dearfuturehusband,
don't forget to recite Yassin every Thursday night. berdoalah agar kita diketemukan dengan segara.

aku bukan gadis sandaran.

2012-01-10T18:52:00.000+08:00

Luka lama berdarah kembali. Hati resah sepanjang hari. Cuba untuk membiarkan ia, namun makin ligat berputar di minda. Benci, itu saja aku mampu perkatakan.

Wajahmu, senyumanmu. Cukup lah, dengan itu saja mampu menarik segala kegembiraan yang aku lalui untuk tempoh yang singkat ini.

Tapi tidak mengapa, hari ini hari engkau. Esok lusa hari aku. La Tahzan, ya Nabiha. Percaya utuh kepada apa yang aku percaya selama ini.

#dearfuturehusband,
you have to know that, i'm not that tough at times. so, bear with the emotional strikes. i love you, always.

untuk pertama kali pada tahun 2012.

2012-01-08T14:35:00.000+08:00

Anna Molly dan looks alive oleh Incubus, berputar ligat di dalam otak. Mungkin butang Replay telah rosak akibat dirogol oleh aku berulang kali. Ntah kenapa, lagu ini jugak menjadi pilihan.

Minggu pertama pada tahun Naga; tahun yang aku anggap agak sinikal dan penuh dengan lawak basi diulang-ulang. Setakat ini semuanya berjalan dengan baik. Baik, itu sahaja tahapnya. Belum sampai ke tahap yang boleh dicanang ke satu dunia malah kepada diri sendiri.

Seperti biasa, lagu-lagu latar akan terdetik untuk setiap babak-babak yang dilakonkan. Dari pagi hingga malam, tanpa henti. Jiwa seperti memberontak atas dasar yang padaku langsung tidak perlu. Ingin saja aku persetankan semua, tapi itu lah, manusia kudus. Punyai nafsu dan perasaan. Lalu, aku tewas dan teruskan melayan sentimen dan agenda tersembunyi.

Terlalu banyak benda di dalam kotak pemikiran ini. Mahu sahaja aku luahkan, ekspresikan. Tapi itulah, aku masih menjaga sensitiviti manusia sejagat. Jangan disebabkan darah muda ku ini, rosak binasa segala apa yang aku ada. Aku masih bersyukur, masih berpegang kepada yang di atas sana. Dia memerhati setiap gerak geri aku, itu pasti dan aku mengerti akan batas-batas yang telah digariskan oleh-Nya.

Tidak peduli akan sekeliling, itu pentingkan diri sendiri namanya. Namun begitu, aku hanya mampu memberi secebis perhatian untuk manusia yang dahagakannya. Kerana apa aku katakan secebis? Kerana aku sendiri tamak dan lebih memerlukan perhatian daripada diri sendiri. Dan aku mengaku, ya aku pentingkan diri sendiri. Kalau dah benda untuk diri sendiri aku tak mampu lakukan, kenapa pula aku gusar dan sibuk untuk penuhi kehendak orang lain?

Biarkan aku sendirian. Moga-moga akan aku ketemui jalan pulang dan teruskan lakonan diri sendiri. Walaubagaimana pun, semuanya terletak pada cara untuk kita melihat sesuatu. Bebanan yang tidak pernah lepas dan sentiasa bertambah. Hanya diri sendiri, yang boleh merubah dan lakukan perbedaan.

the gay guy.

2012-01-08T09:56:00.000+08:00

and so it is.

i friend zoned you.
sorry for the false signals.

from Labuan to Shah Alam.

2012-01-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

a new beginning. good hearing.
effortless, every moves you made.

"ye ke pergi toilet? ke phone tercampak sebab gelabah nak angkat call i?" and it never fails to make me smile. big one ;D

resolusi basi. so, unleash the dragon master!

2012-01-02T13:42:00.002+08:00

twenty eleven.

a year that full of ups and downs. hopes and dreams. fears and opaques. we had a good run, no doubt. thanks for all the experiences and lessons. a year that show me who really love and care for me. a year of friendship. almost giving up in romance, and heck i can't. i'm glad, really i am for what happen actually. so, let bygone be bygone. past is past. and, cheers to the freaking new year!

twenty twelve.

well, i'm scared when to think about it. 2012 is gonna be the year that i finally end my engineering school. the year that i'm gonna pursue my working life. priorities, priorities and priorities. this, i have straighten and sort things out. totally up for 2012. it is going to be a tough one, i must say. but, what happens along the way, i know i going to make it through. be positivo, for sho.

to be a better person than before, is on the top of my list. mojo and muse, i will find it by hook or by crook. the pressure is already on, and hell yeah ace em baby! finding the new love, yeah. with Allah's blessings and wills, everything will turn out to be grand! (insyaAllah)

p/s: you certainly put a big smile on my face, mr. bassist.

yang di atas sana;

2011-12-29T01:48:00.002+08:00

lebih memahami diri ini,
mengetahui apa yang terbaik,
mendengar segala keluh resah rintihan manusia kudus yang kadangkala tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang dimilikinya.

7 march, Singapore.

2011-12-28T01:49:00.000+08:00

bernafas lega.

2011-12-27T19:48:00.001+08:00

something surely has gotten into me. i felt different when i woke up this morning.

damai sekali.

kini, aku kembali bernafas lega. satu per satu telah dilepaskan. rasa bebanan semakin kurang dipikul. hanya menunggu sisa-sisa terakhir untuk sampai ke garisan penamat.

aku sungguh bersyukur.

alhamdulillah, segalanya berjalan dengan lancar.

aku rindu akan Kau.

sebentar lagi, bacaan Yasin akan aku alunankan sebagai tanda terima kasih dan kasihku padaMu.

p/s:

thank you cikmi, some of the songs that you shared, are very pleasant to my ears. keep it going, will you? The Black Keys and Bright Eyes, certainly one of my favourite now. ;D

my soundtrack of the day.

2011-12-27T10:02:00.000+08:00

my twittercrush.

2011-12-27T03:07:00.001+08:00

whenever i saw your tweethandle appeared on my TL, never fails me to smile. big one ;D
you might not noticing me now but yeah, you will. one day. (malu)
i want to get to know you closer, if you let me to. (malu lagi)
oh, this is so random! (bye)

btw, i never thought it was you who were following me at first.

#dearfuturehusband,
i wonder, will ever you find me? but how? i'm waiting for you here, patiently.

at the eleventh hour.

2011-12-23T09:07:00.000+08:00

breathe in a very hectic atmosphere. inhale, exhale on repeat and yet, gets more harder at the midday. no more leisure, just no more.

woke up in the very messed up places and thoughts. mixed and twisted. plan A and plan B, exhibit A and exhibit B. get tougher, complexer as it reach at the climax. sometimes, i have to detour my route and starts from the beginning. thrice, tops.

shit happens, along the way. make it more difficult to breath and walk. but this, doesn't make me give up or anything any less.

p/s: the pre-viva scares me out of shit. blergh!

tidak lagi melarikan diri.

2011-12-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

masih di dalam mode conquest.

Kau buat ianya senang untukku.

2011-12-20T08:47:00.000+08:00

spontan and bersahaja. kehadiranmu dapatku rasai.

oh, occupy myself with workloads. :)

2011-12-18T10:56:00.000+08:00

inner conquest : day 2.

hanya memohon kepada yang di atas, agar aku tabah mengharungi hari kedua ini. masih segar di ingatan, malah acapkali berlegar di minda. aku percaya, semua ini ada hikmahnya. suatu hari nanti, mengerti itu pasti. aku bersyukur, Kau masih sayang akan aku. atas apa yang telah terjadi, mendekatkan diri kepada Kau, berusaha keras aku lakukan.

bila aku sedih, terutamanya, aku dapat rasakan kehadiran Kau.

p/s:dalam keadaan waras, aku harus kekalkan.

inner conquest: day 1.

2011-12-17T09:01:00.001+08:00

thanks for telling me things. i'll keep that in mind.

i'm all up for the conquest. i'm ready for this.
with YOUR guidances and blessing,
and whatever gets in the way,
i'll make it through.
insyaAllah.

p/s: thanks to those who put up with my antiques. i appreciated that. and always, will.

it is matter of time.

2011-12-16T14:10:00.000+08:00

buzz

2011-12-16T12:25:00.000+08:00

that's my cue(s). i think Allah already answered my prayers.

just so you know, when i leave, i leave for good.

sayonara, kisah silam.

p/s: i'm all happy for you. and always, pray for your happiness even without me in it.

B

2011-12-16T12:22:00.000+08:00

diri ini terlalu lama bergelumang dengan dosa besar mahupun kecil.

terasa diri ini kerdil, hina.

memohon keampunan dan rahmat dari yang Esa agar tergolong dalam golongan manusia yang masih boleh mencium bau Jannah.

p/s: it is not that i don't want you, i need you but i just can't.

in two weeks time.

2011-12-08T02:31:00.002+08:00

it will be the week fourteen. this, not near any relief feelings pon.
since there are going to be the finals, presentations, submissions,
yadayadayada blablablaba. double the sigh.

busy, busy, busy. but yeah, i still keep my head as sane as possible.
and still, I don't know if I'm strong enough to brush it off.
so, i've prayed and prayed.
i do hope God listens to my prayers and sent me guidances.

#dearfuturehusband,
i wanna kiss you in public.

our nasty hot sex.

2011-12-05T23:21:00.001+08:00

box of wicked props.

but my favourite one is you.
you're so beautiful.

p/s: i would like to trade my soul to the devil, just to kiss you till our lips bleed. like always.

reading the books.

2011-12-03T09:04:00.000+08:00

your presence lingers whenever i read. i love/hate that.

i was being random at my best.

2011-11-28T07:49:00.002+08:00

#3806
kalah, menang itu adat pemainan. dengan pengetahuan bola aku yang sebesar zarah ni pon, aku boleh tahu itu adalah common sense. mengkritik dan mengutuk, adalah dua perkara yang berlainan tahu? biasalah, sentimen masyarakat Malaysia. pujian menggunung apabila bagus, caci maki apabila kalah. dah lah, malasnak sembang kote dengan orang macam kau ini.

#5129
you missed me, don't you? you missed creating our dream house, listing our to-do lists and etc, don't you? nahh, you didn't. but yeah, i missed that. alas, it is funny when you talked about this with someone else, like seriously? to think about it, while you're talking to them, don't you feel my presence and my shadow any near/close to you? not even once? hmm, to tell you the truth, i didn't talked about it for such a long time, until now actually. because, it hurts and i don't think the others would understand it since.

hmm, i don't know. since you're left, nothing is really excites me tho. maybe, i wanted that spot to be empty, infill. (to be continued)

#1
"for a better reasons". yes, i hold on to that.

you will never know.

2011-11-25T09:38:00.000+08:00

pagi jumaat dah rasa ripped off gila.
isu dalaman memakan diri sendiri.
self-pity? nahh, aku tak se-loser itu.

dan, kau tak tahu yang kau memberi impak yang agak besar dalam kehidupan aku sebelum ni.

HIMYM episode 10.

2011-11-22T11:12:00.001+08:00

" i don't care about every details from your past, and i hope you won't care about mine either. what i do care is you."

on top of everything. this, penetrated to the deepest part of my heart. loop hole.

" i'm such a mess. why do you even like me? coz, you're almost messed up as i am."

i do wish, someone out there, will say this to me. and yeah, i'm pretty messed up.

p/s: episode 10, season 7, HIMYM. for you.

so messed up and yeah, i'm all damaged.

2011-11-20T11:06:00.000+08:00

half of me is already gone. for such a long time ago.
i'm positive that i'm not having the bipolar disorder, confirm.
it is just, i need some getaway.
from everything.

everything is so messed up.
i tend to avoid things, not saying that i'm in denial. *see, yes, i'm in denial actually*
being so grumpy, so loud, so random out of all sudden.
i always used "i'm on hiatus" reason especially if i want an easy way out.
fuck! i'm confuse with myself.
this unstable emotions are killing me tho.

i wish i could use somebody atm.

p/s: not searching for any replacement. i love to let the spot infill, empty. i'm fine with it.

inbox (0)

2011-11-12T13:13:00.000+08:00

i put it on silent mode.

i just don't care.

and even, i don't give a damn since.

go fuck yourself with your fake life, self.

slow dancing in burning room.

2011-11-10T09:04:00.000+08:00

too blind to see, or too stupid to understand?
why you need others to define you, yourself?
why you need others to make you feel appreciated and special?
just, why?
this is bullshit, outta mind.

p/s:
sometimes, there are things worth waiting.
but this time, i shall pass.

i'm too young.

2011-11-07T15:52:00.001+08:00

to have this mid-life crisis.

i know what is bothering me lately. too caught up with life's dramas and shit, i almost forgot my priorities. and after having a brief session with my cousins, i must say, i'm freaking out about my future. i do have plans for my future. plan A, plan B, exhibit A, exhibit B. but it wasn't brief, too wide. i need to focus, narrow down the scopes. oh yeah, i know "kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan" tapi takkan just go with it kan?

alas, i lack of muse and inspirations. since i had lost it long time ago. and i need to find the new one(s), pronto!

or else, i'll be so fucked up later.

p/s: my ex muse knows how to make me feel better after having this freak out moments by myself. fcuk.

suits me, perfecto.

2011-11-05T18:34:00.000+08:00

tachycardia.

2011-11-01T01:55:00.000+08:00

that's what i'm having now.

so tiring.

p/s: i bid you farewell.

i don't feel at ease.

2011-10-27T17:50:00.000+08:00

the silence breakfast, nasi lemak pak ayub.

he's fine and still, chubs like always.

he's all happy, i presume? well, she must be taking care of him very well.

good for them. good for you.

honestly, i don't know what exactly i should feel now. is either happy or sad or angry?

fyi, my last word for you before you entered the TAT, i really meant it. ;P

p/s: well, it was a bit relieved for knowing that she is not your girlfriend. eventhough both of you looking so head over hells. eh heel. haha!

shine on, nabiha. shine on.

2011-10-26T07:51:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna go through another episodes.
i think that's my cue.

p/s: broken promises and sweet lies has long since passed. just stop re-kindling the old flames if you don't mean to put it on fire back.

my very own Thom Yorke.

2011-10-22T19:44:00.000+08:00

every you, every me.

2011-10-22T08:28:00.000+08:00

maybe you're right.

p/s: if we were still together, it would be 1 year, 7 months and 2 days.

you tricked me to love you.

2011-10-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

"Gina's things, and they chewed up my heart every time i saw them." - man and boy, tony parson.

one of my favourite.
this book; really moved me.

wished you were here.

2011-10-16T08:34:00.000+08:00

i miss everybody.

phew. after a long week, here, finally comes the Sunday. the only day i got for myself before starting a new longgggggg week. currently, caught up with:

design project 1 : malonic acid.
final year project : biodegradation of Toluene.
reading economic articles and journals.

oh ya, i still do the 20 mins reading routine before i sleep. well, this, keeps me going day by day.

p/s: you tricked me, not everybody. it's you. do you still read like you always do?

follow, unfollow.

2011-10-15T14:19:00.000+08:00

janganlah kau bimbang. itu bukan caraku. aku tidak begitu zalim untuk mengambil bukan hakku. dia sejarah silam. dia pilih kau bukan dan bukannya aku.

kenapa perlu rasa begitu gusar? kerana kau telah mengambil hak orang lain dan kau takut perkara sedemikian terjadi kepada kau?

adakah kau percaya akan karma?

p/s: akan aku fikirkan hal ini buat keseribu kalinya.

you and i.

2011-10-13T15:40:00.000+08:00

both moved on.
you're doing great.
and i'm doing good.

p/s: bila aku terdengar atau ternampak nama kau, jantung aku masih berdegup kencang. dan untuk pengetahuan kau, aku rasa boleh rasa getaran antara kita walaupun ianya hampir nyah dari dunia. sixth sense, telepathically in english. aneh, bukan?

not born to please you and your bitches.

2011-10-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

...

aku bosan dengan drama dunia ni. terlalu kejam, sadis, dan penuh kepura-puraan.

my promised had long since passed.

2011-10-09T08:34:00.000+08:00

currently reading, For One More Day by Mitch Albom.

#QuestiontoPonder,
if you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it?
and if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?
well, remember this, what happen in the past, that makes you for who you are today.
don't forget, everyone has their own story to tell.

why now and why bother?

2011-10-07T16:46:00.001+08:00

sigh.

p/s:
anyway, lucky you to have her to make you happy.
but never mind, lucky me, i got myself to make me feel okay.
just okay.

parti bogel.

2011-10-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

tiga jejaka, tiga gadis dan spaghetti bolognese.
gelak ketawa menonton the 10th kingdom.

p/s: i don't think i can handle this for now. sigh.

you caught me by surprise.

2011-10-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

sudah sampai tempoh matang ke?

what's next boy? perhaps, bring me flowers?
tee-hee.

#dearfuturehusband,
how's you day? well, take care.

careful with what you wished for, my dear.

2011-10-03T08:48:00.000+08:00

taipan, usj.

i'm both. sad and happy on the same time.

happy because my wish came true.

sad because i miss you so bad but i can't do anything about it.

fyi, before i bumped into you. i got caught in the accident in front of the saloon. the Chinese lady asked me to pay RM50. :(

#dearfuturehusband,

my guess list on our wedding : ME and YOU.

this, sums up everything.

2011-10-02T08:44:00.000+08:00

meleset jauh dari pemikiran manusia kudus.

2011-10-02T00:19:00.000+08:00

i thought i was strong enough. and yet, i'm not.

just take that knife and stab me.
you gave me fairy tales, then scary nightmares.
now even you were gone, still your ghost keep haunting me.
in my sleep, in my mind.
day and night.
i hate you.
:(

Octoberfest in Germany.

2011-10-01T21:05:00.002+08:00

hi :) *erased*
how are you? *erased*
wanna grab some lunch or pisang goreng at the evening? *erased*

as much as i want to hate you, end up i wish you were here.
what have got into me?
and i wonder if you still love me like i love you?
and miss me like i miss you?
but we both know, this, no longer working.
and we, not walking on the same path, speed.
i might rekindling the old flames,
as much as i tried, it won't be the bon fire camp anymore.

#dearfuturehusband,
went to the wedding just now. and makes me wonder how our wedding looks like. and i bet, you are the prettiest on that day :)

Ikea and kuala lumpur.

2011-09-30T23:37:00.001+08:00

We used to role play, pretend that we were living together.

#Dearfuturehusband,
I hurt so much before. And still, trying to be strong day by day. I hope by the time i meet you, i'll be okay and fine. And be able to let you in. if you are the one, love me for who i am. Promise me you'll take care of me with all your heart. Hug me at night. Kiss my forehead. Make me feel ease, calm. Do appease me, baby. I'm sorry, i'm such a complex and difficult to understand.

got to go.

2011-09-29T21:11:00.001+08:00

gotta find you a new girl.

that suits you. and up to your mother's standard.

flavor of the month.

2011-09-29T15:47:00.001+08:00

bitter.

btw, i'm glad it is mutual.

On repeat.

2011-09-28T21:42:00.000+08:00

I see your picture.
I smell you skin on.
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already im wasting away.

I know i'll see you again.
Whether far or soon.

But i need you to know that i care,
And i miss you.

#dearfuturehusband,
What do you eat for breakfast?

#EmpireSubangExploded.

2011-09-28T10:13:00.001+08:00

you must be worried/excited/etc.

and i bet you have so much to say about this.

#dearfuturehusband,
i love vanilla.

goreng pisang, according to you.

2011-09-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

I dialled your number but, I pressed the red button after that instead of waiting it rings.

Reason: i don't even think you want to talk or listen to me.

p/s: i'd love to have goreng pisang date with you.

#TruthOrDare,

Truth. i wanna have little conversations with you, again.

Aku bukan pilihan bondamu.

2011-09-27T01:07:00.001+08:00

Mungkin ini takdir Tuhan. Aku redha.

#TruthOrDare,
Dare. I wanna kiss you till our lips bleed.

after all, i know i can count on you.

2011-09-26T18:26:00.000+08:00

A: Do you want a piece of red velvet, B?

B: Yes, i'd love too. Thank you for asking.

#TruthOrDare,
Truth. I do hope I will bump into you sometimes.

I got mini heart attack today.

2011-09-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

Tuesday with Morrie. My favourite.

You are in my mind for the entire day.
I miss you, best friend.

Everyday.

i miss you.

2011-09-24T00:25:00.001+08:00

and i hope it is mutual feeling.

please find yourself a proper time to cross my mind.

#dearfuturehusband,

i don't care about your past. i love you for who you are and i know, it must be hard for you to be who you really are today.
i might be complaining about my day and etc, but actually, i just want you to comfort me and gimme a big hug.

i don't see it coming.

2011-09-23T11:25:00.000+08:00

not even close.

you missed me.
but you do nothing about it.

you cared for me.
but you do nothing about it.

you loved me.
but you do nothing about it.

you wanted me.
but you do nothing about it.

#dearfuturehusband,
i'd love to be your WAG :)

when i'm sick, i tend to miss you even more.

2011-09-21T22:18:00.000+08:00

i put my best smiles, but they aren't for you anymore, baby.

#dearfuturehusband,
i hope you're good with algebras because i need you to replace the "x" without asking "y". btw, i'm sick today.

aku alergi kepada engkau.

2011-09-20T23:03:00.000+08:00

mungkin, aku perlu cari formula untuk meng-biodegrasi-kan diri sendiri.
luput bila sampai waktunya.

#dearfuturehusband,
falling in - lifehouse. shall we dance? slow, perhaps?

saling tak tumpah.

2011-09-18T22:55:00.001+08:00

aku dan arsenal sama.

bercerai-berai.
tiada chemistry.

aku dan arsenal sama.

manusia datang dan pergi.
namun tidak memberikan sebarang signifikasi penting.

aku dan arsenal sama.

dulu gemilang.
sekarang kecundang.

aku dan arsenal sama.
begitu juga engkau.

ex oh ex oh.

#dearfuturehusband,
i love you. not forever but until the day i die.

i'm full with real cliche.

2011-09-15T10:36:00.000+08:00

STFU.

i don't mind. i don't care.

that pink candy earphone.

2011-09-13T10:09:00.000+08:00

waiting is sick.
too much time to kill.
and yet, i'm not a murderer.

i like ninja.
i like assassin.
they are sexy in such ways.

still, reading your favourite book.
the green in colour.
while sitting at the corner of my bed.

fyi, i think Star Wars is mad genius.
and Arsenal, is lunatic.
perfect combo.

ex oh ex oh.

#dearfuturehusband.
i'm not perfect but i'm worth to fight for.

nothing is personal.

2011-09-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

driving back to SAC.

runny nose, i hate.

a bowl of soup and a big hug.

long time ago.

i packed your survival kit.

and small card wished "get well soon"

i love to see you sick.

because you "manja" like that.

like a little boy sulking over a candy.

having you in my mind.

and not physically.

part of my life, for sure.

i'm not wanting you back.

i'll be fine.

but not for tonight.

tonight, i wanna drink a cup of coffee.

while reading your favourite book.

and romancing with memories.

ex oh ex oh.

hello?

2011-09-11T10:50:00.003+08:00

everything under the sun.
between the ground and the sky.
i have you in my arm. literally.

we haven't talk for quite some time.
it is been awhile.
and i know you'll miss me.

eating desserts by myself.
while reading your favourite book.
in this very morning.

always, you in my mind.
for good and for bad causes.
don't flatter yourself too much, baby.

to be continue...

ex oh ex oh.

#dearfuturehusband,
do check your shirt pocket every Thursday. surprise,surprise,surprise.

you must be so proud of me now.

2011-09-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

i know you'll miss me.

ex oh ex oh.

rupanya tidak.

2011-09-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

masih segar. masih berdarah.

sungguh tak sangka.

#dearfuturehusband,
RSVP for you.

exactly 5 years.

2011-09-07T10:38:00.000+08:00

the little talks and a movie.

upnext, BBQ raya. i'll see you there ;P

p/s: i dreamt about AH last night. prolly because the goodnight call?

phew.

2011-09-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

mission accomplished.

bergoyang lah kaki sambil minum iced coke. brrr.

esok, columbiana. teehee.

antara hari yang bermakna bagi saya.

2011-09-04T22:46:00.002+08:00

kita, masih seperti dahulu.

dan tak pernah berubah.

selamat hari raya.

2011-09-04T09:53:00.000+08:00

maaf zahir dan batin.

5 years and here we are.

2011-08-27T10:45:00.000+08:00

this is too valuable. this is too meaningful. and for what i know, this, can't be replaced. i mean the friendship that we build together from the day one we met.

the easy and hard time, the joy and sadness.

the sevenies.

Boy you played through my mind like a symphony.

2011-08-24T07:52:00.000+08:00

my deepest thank you goes to;

the girlfriends; who never stop give me shoulder to cry, lend me ears to hear, and be there.

KZ thanks for recite the doa together. i know i can count on you.

KH for always have faith in me that im gonna be okay.

past is past.

i choose to be happy. again.

#dearfuturehusband,

i'm back on track. come out, come out wherever you are baby. and i wonder if you ever wonder about me because i did. hi, i'm nabiha.

and it is over.

2011-08-23T22:36:00.001+08:00

thank you for the 2 years of lies. and i'm too blind to see, and too stupid to believe, and too naive to have faith us.

2 years means the world to me and nothing to you.

if you have the intention to play with my feelings and break my heart, yes congrats man, you did it very well.

Allah have better plans and knows what's the best for me.

let's move on.

p/s: i wont forgive you. forever.

forever my ass.

2011-08-22T11:44:00.002+08:00

semalam aku menghabiskan sisa-sisa kehidupan selepas kau pergi dengan beradu. 3/4 daripadanya terbuang begitu sahaja. tidak tahu mengapa aku lebih suka melarikan diri dari kenyataan sejak kebelakangan ini.

dan apa yang menyedihkan, apabila bangun dan sedar perasaan itu masih ada. mungkin perasaan itu tidak pernah pergi. ia masih di situ. aku bangun dengan berlinangan air mata. bukan kehendak aku. sumpah, masa itu jugaklah perasaan aku bercampur baur. setiap satu kenangan, laju berputar di dalam kepalaku.

yang dulunya indah dan manis, kini tidak lagi. semuanya hanyalah penipuan dan terlalu pahit untuk ditelan.

aku berharap Ilahi dengar apa yang aku pohon.

Dia lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hamba-Nya. Dia juga mempunyai perancangan yang lebih terperinci untuk kita, mejangkaui pemikiran kudus ini.

segalanya ada hikmah yang tersembunyi. dan bersabarlah. itu sahaja yang mampuku katakan kepada diri sendiri.

#dearfuturehusband,
i just want a decent life with you.

don't you remember - Adele.

2011-07-29T13:38:00.001+08:00

i deleted your pictures in my Blackberry. it is not easy to see our pictures with big smiles, happy faces on this time being. no point to look at them because seeing those pictures was like adding more salt onto the wounds.

seek for His forgiveness and guidance, that's what i do now. only Him can help me to go through these hardship.

#dearfuturehusband,
i'm not ready yet, not this period. please don't make yourself appear in front of me now. i need time, space.

confession of a broken heart.

2011-07-24T20:10:00.002+08:00

it is easy for you. and always will be.

because you are the one who ended it. the one who left. the one who crashed my heart. the one who let me go.

i'm not happy. as much as i tried to hate you, it turns out to be more need of you, love you even more.

i miss you, don't you know that?

it hurts. and hard for me to go through my day.

again, it is easy for you.

because it meant nothing to you. 1 and half years just a piece of unimportant memories for you.

#dearfuturehusband,
im sorry. i have self-issues. and hardly to trust people. and please, don't ever ever say that you're different from the other guys, and will take care of me. i don't buy it anymore.well, actions speak louder that words. just prove me wrong.

stupid rashes and scumbag.

2011-07-22T16:24:00.000+08:00

kalau nak suarakan pendapat pon, fikir dulu boleh?

pendapat tak semestinya betul atau salah. tapi biarlah relevant.

pung pang pung pang, apa pon takda?

held my anger inside. but i'll be okay soon.

2011-06-18T09:54:00.000+08:00

don't make and hold to promises. because they make to break.

i'm holding a grudge. but i'm not. i wanted too. but i can't.

past is past. and i don't believe in happy ending and fairy tale. bullshit.

deep down of me still questioning.
like do you ever love me for real?
did you just faking for all this time?
did you ever meant whatever you said to me?

it is just plain sad to think what we had before and walked towards it.

for now i just don't know what to believe anymore. what i can do know is having fun and grateful for what i still have. appreciate and embracing them. don't stay in the past aka move on.

for me, it is not over yet.us, not working for now, but if there is a "jodoh", i'll go for it.

i always love you. miss you.

and you know it very well, you are forever special for me.

this is for you.

2011-04-09T19:31:00.000+08:00

goodnight goodnight

my wish.

2011-04-09T19:23:00.002+08:00

siapa-siapa yang baik hati, sila bawak saya pergi tengok maroon 5 please?

busy peasy.

2011-03-26T22:29:00.002+08:00

hi saya sangat busy!

ok bye.

on regular basis.

let's make some babies today.

autoclave and flushing.

the Death Star.

would you like to be my own "Valentine"?

so i thought i did unleashed the chain.

"who are you to preach me?"

you have your own right

tak guna, jika

friendzoned part two : future lawyer to be.

all came in blunder.

Chemex Engineering.

the small "auch" scream.

#DearFutureHusband,

never ending issue.

dan luruhlah dinding uterusku.

go environment, go green.

enigma kelam.

patah tumbuh, hilang berganti.

aku bukan gadis sandaran.

untuk pertama kali pada tahun 2012.

the gay guy.

from Labuan to Shah Alam.

resolusi basi. so, unleash the dragon master!

yang di atas sana;

7 march, Singapore.

bernafas lega.

my soundtrack of the day.

my twittercrush.

at the eleventh hour.

tidak lagi melarikan diri.

Kau buat ianya senang untukku.

inner conquest: day 1.

it is matter of time.

*buzz*

B

in two weeks time.

our nasty hot sex.

reading the books.

i was being random at my best.

you will never know.

HIMYM episode 10.

so messed up and yeah, i'm all damaged.

inbox (0)

slow dancing in burning room.

i'm too young.

suits me, perfecto.

tachycardia.

i don't feel at ease.

shine on, nabiha. shine on.

my very own Thom Yorke.

every you, every me.

you tricked me to love you.

wished you were here.

follow, unfollow.

you and i.

not born to please you and your bitches.

my promised had long since passed.

why now and why bother?

parti bogel.

you caught me by surprise.

careful with what you wished for, my dear.

this, sums up everything.

meleset jauh dari pemikiran manusia kudus.

Octoberfest in Germany.

Ikea and kuala lumpur.

got to go.

flavor of the month.

On repeat.

#EmpireSubangExploded.

goreng pisang, according to you.

Aku bukan pilihan bondamu.

after all, i know i can count on you.

I got mini heart attack today.

i miss you.

i don't see it coming.

when i'm sick, i tend to miss you even more.

aku alergi kepada engkau.

saling tak tumpah.

i'm full with real cliche.

buzz